How Not to Cope With Empty-Nest Syndrome

The Physicist and the Lawyer have left for Uni in order to actually qualify for the aforementioned titles. I realise that perhaps I have left them ill-equipped for this adventure. Important things have not been passed from mother to daughter in the proper way.

The Lawyer, although adept in her field, has discovered that she doesn’t know proper cutlery etiquette for high table, why gowns have shoulders like American footballers and how to deal with impenetrable forms from government bodies. The Physicist, despite being an old hand at gowns, carnations and massive equations is still lacking in basic Tesco skills.

Meanwhile I, left to my own devices on my own, have had a minor revelation. Major revelations can be a tad painful so I’m sticking to minor ones. I can now do whatever I want.

So far I have:
Worn a mini-skirt
Turned the music up far too loud
Watched inappropriate videos
Changed my clothes up to seventeen times a day
Had strange men (or at least the Unknowable Man) round the house
Despaired of strange men
Despaired
Not got a job
Forgotten to go to bed
Smoked
Drinked
Not tidied up
Slept with the cats on my bed
And not eaten a proper meal.

Who needs teenagers?