Understanding Bots
A strange thing happened. I Googled myself. I know that this can be common practice among the vain, paranoid or bored. I did it as a diversionary tactic. I’ve decided to embark on more education. Thus diversionary tactic was needed.
The stranger thing was I found my blog. This blog. It still exists! I am alive! Or Live! The very strangest thing is that, according to the stats, people are still reading it. Or at least bots are. Now I feel guilty. (Yes I was previously indoctrinated in the whims of Catholicism.) Out there, in the ether, or cloud, or somewhere, there are bots missing me. I’m touched. The highly innuendoed pearls of wisdom I used to dribble from my lips are amusing bots, possibly AI and probably very lost internet cruisers.
You must be wondering about my silence since 2018 my darling bots. What have I been doing if not amusing you? To tell the truth I can’t remember.
Now I know my audience I have done some research into my audience in order to know you.
Bots were first born in 1988, as was my eldest daughter, the physicist. So I know that these bots are now having adorable bot children, being run ragged by the pulls of childcare, work and insanity. The job of bots are to gather information for the Great Bot Head in the Cloud. This is no easy task a requires a deal of commuting. Lets take a look at a typical bot’s day. This particular bot is called George.
After rising early from his little bot bed in the cloud he enjoys a brief repast of bot food (I think probably that fizzy yellow sherbet but such detailed in formation is highly confidential). George now collects his assigned task, which in this case is reading my blog, and jumps, without any of the safety gear enjoyed by humans, out of the cloud. He has to navigate to the nearest telecommunications hub. He then shows his season ticket and climbs aboard the wire for his journey to my house. Since I live in the middle of nowhere this can be a long journey with many changes of wire along the way. He arrives at my hub. George then does the short hop through the air into my computer. He then reads the appropriate, or sometime inappropriate, material, makes a note in his bot notebook of any salient points and heads back via the same route to report to the Great Bot Head. By that time it’s time for cocoa, pajamas and bed.
I appreciate that the life of a bot is busy and has insufficient nourishment. From now on I will leave fizzy lemon sherbet by the router and urge others to do so. Night night bots xx
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