On why we are a nation of criminals

They say that in order for a person to be trustworthy they must be trusted. There is a whole issue here about who this ‘they’ are but, putting that aside for the moment, the fact is that on a personal and national level people are simply not trusted with the little things in life. It stands to reason then that inevitably we are not trustworthy, and thus begins our lives of petty misdemeanour.
A few glaring examples of this lack of trust glared at me today. The first one was painkillers. We all need painkillers. Me especially as all this reckless dancing has led to a recklessly painful shoulder injury. Yet, on strolling into my local supermarket I am only offered a pack of 16 painkillers (ibuprofen being my drug of choice). Why? Because we might take it into our heads to consume more than 16 and therefore do ourselves irreparable damage. The powers that be (akin to the aforementioned ‘they’) do not trust us. The immediate reaction of anyone suffering pain, or even someone who thinks that one day they may suffer, is to try and buy more than 16 pills. I, like any sane person begin to visit every local and not so local emporium in the search of drugs. Only after having driven many miles (thus contributing in no uncertain way to global warming; another petty crime) and buying the full allowance from the Coop, Asda, Tesco, Waitrose, M&S and any other multinational that fell into my path am I satisfied. Now, should I so desire I could take a serious overdose of ibuprofen and thus top myself should the pain become unbearable. This, you understand is most likely illegal. Sadly it transpires that it is also impossible as an overdose of anti-inflammatories will only leave one extremely uninflamed. Tomorrow I’m going for the paracetamol.
Another glaring example is showers. Showers in public places. Or in my case expensive private gyms. They have a button. You can’t just turn them on and off. No, they believe that once you have turned them on you will never turn them off. Thus you will use all their hot water, all their water, all the nation’s water, all the world’s water and we will all die from lack of water. So they turn off by themselves. Not randomly. They wait until you have shampoo in your eyes and then turn off. This shows a striking lack of trust and many a gym goer has been seen pressing the button just as they leave the shower, or simply pressing the button and running away shrieking ‘te he!’ Or spending vast resources inventing robots that will go into gym showers and turn them on and then run away shrieking ‘te he!’
Please Mr/Ms They, we are mostly grown-ups, (and those of us who are not sometimes aspire to be) let us wash and kill ourselves in peace.