The Resolution Problem Resolved

Yesterday was Ash Wednesday. Did I mention that? I’m not a person of a religious bent. Or any bent really. Well, my mind is a tad off the straight and narrow on occasion. Occasions like Ash Wednesday. And Wednesdays in general. And often days that end with the letter ‘y’.

I’d like to report that I’m sticking to my resolutions very well. But I’ve discovered a problem. A resolution problem which I am attempting to resolve.

This is what happened:

I got up when Terry Wogan told me to, because I had resolved to do so. I continued with my list of ‘Things I Must Do Every Morning’ because I had resolved to do so. This included –
Making nourishing packed lunch for the Lawyer. (15 minutes)
Taking Lawyer to train station. (20 minutes)
Remembering to eat breakfast. (1 minute)
Remembering to wash, and brush bodily parts as appropriate (and trying not to confuse bodily parts). (45 minutes due to a lot of thinking)
Doing an hour of yoga. (90 minutes)
Cleaning house. (a great deal of minutes)
Putting things in baskets. (183 minutes)
Taking coat out of freezer (73 minutes)
Not think about sex (198.46 minutes)

You are beginning to see the problem. All these minutes begin to add up to hours, days, weeks. By the time I have finished ‘Things I Must Do Every Morning’ we have reached the latter stages of April. And I haven’t even started on ‘Things I must do every Afternoon’ (lunch, emails, not thinking about love, reconstructing the shed, untangling kittens from baskets….). Let alone ‘Things I Must Do Every Evening’ (dinner, blog posts, swimming, gymming, feeding Lawyer, finding car, not thinking about love or sex, putting the coat in the freezer in order that I might remove it the following day…).

So, I then discover I have no time left to run our publishing company, our website company, write my novel, write our sitcom, create the cybernauts’ guide to the mirthverse, learn how to use Flash, have a wee or breathe. (I’ve given up on ever doing the accounts).

So here is what I’ve decided to do to overcome these difficulties:

I have resolved that every day I must remember to - publish one book, make three websites, write 10,000 words, 12 scenes, Mostly Life-ify, give up on Flash, give up weeing and breathing.

Fucking sorted. Except the fucking. Aye, well, tomorrow is another couple of dozen days.