How Not to Write a Critical Study or Grow Tomatoes

Today I was supposed to be writing my critical study. A jolly 8,000 words of a vaguely academic nature with references, bibliographies, long words that sound impressive but are simply substitutes for shorter words that people actually understand, and thoughts of a meaningful nature.

This is what happened:
I wrote ‘What’s the point of multiple points of views?’ That’s the title or thereabouts. And then I thought I might take a break.
I went outside. My neighbour gave me some tomato plants and informed me they were best grown in the greenhouse. I have one of those. But there was a problem. I had not ventured into the aforementioned structure since the departure of the ex-Beloved. The aforementioned ex-Beloved loved the aforementioned structure. So much that he verily filled it. With stuff.

So, with a quick word of reassurance to the tomato plants, I embarked on Clearing the Greenhouse.

Some eight hours later I had:
Thrown out five bin-bags of rubbish.
Taken four wheelbarrow loads of dead stuff to the compost heaps.
Removed the twelve cats that had taken up residence.
Taken a shatter (that’s the collective noun) of broken glass to the tip.
Washed inches of green unknowable stuff off the glass.
Removed the several homeless persons that had taken up residence.
Cleaned a thousand empty pots, ex-margarine cartons and devices for seed germination.
Removed the seventeen dead bodies of creatures that the twelve cats had dragged in.
Arranged a thousand empty pots in order of size, colour and literary preference.
Had a little swim in the water butt to discover why it wasn’t butting.
Did a nifty repair job to enable butting.
Applied a sledge hammer to the surrounding steps.
Cemented the surrounding paving.
Done a cheeky laminate flooring job to revive the sagging shelving
And
Written a list on my blog to annoy my brother.

But moreover I had come up with the answer – The point of multiple points of view is to come to a better understanding of the characters. And I did. I finally understood that I’d been looking at my life from the wrong point of view all along. My quest for Mr Right is over. I am Mr Right. I’m going to make someone a wonderful husband.