Order from Chaos – A Man’s Way

The beloved has decided to clear out the shed. The reason for this unprecedented move is yet to be revealed. It could be that he is following my good example, or that due to imminent divorce he intends to live in it (or that I should live in it), or that he has lost his glasses and suspects they may be in the far end of the shed. The aforementioned glasses are on his face but I hesitate to mention this as he doesn’t take kindly to my helpful suggestions.

So, the shed. Let me set the scene. It is a large shed in the world of shedness. It contains the detritus of many years of life. Most of the contents of the shed have arrived there at the end of a conversation that went like this:

‘What shall we do with this old cupboard/desk/unidentifiable object of unidentifiable purpose?’

‘Dunno’

‘It might come in handy one day.’

‘I’ll put it in the shed.’

And thus many items, now even less identifiable, reside in this bijoux little residence.
The beloved has decided to clear out the shed (did I mention that?). This is what happened:

Beloved goes, equipped with nothing whatsoever, up the steps, to the shed. He begins to extract objects from the shed. These objects include:
Cupboards that were one day going to come in handy
Bookshelves that were one day going to come in handy
Surf boards that were one day going to come in handy
Wasp’s nests that were one day going to come in handy
The lawn mower that one day might get fixed
The cat
The neighbour’s cat
The garden shredder which one day might get used
A hermit (or that could have been the beloved)
Bits of wood that were one day going to come in handy
Bits of plastic that were one day going to come in handy
Old electrical equipment that was one day going to come in handy
Bicycles
Things that I have no idea what they are and therefore could one day come in handy.

But this is the really cunning thing. What he decides to do with the above items. He has invented an outdoor shed that craftily surrounds the usual shed and has stored everything there. He has a degree in Planning and it really shows how there is no substitute for a good education.

I have taken some pictures of the new outdoor shed as the sheer innovation of the idea is bound to take off and I don’t want anyone asserting that they were the first when he might claim such accolades for himself.

handy new storage areasthe lawnmower's new home (note the ineffectualness of this device)

I’m thinking that I have a lot to yet learn in the mystic arts of chaos combat.