The teacher said that she had a lot of requests from people wanting to learn how to dance Reggaeton. So she was going to teach us. Fair enough, I thought. Frankly I had never heard of Reggaeton but I’m always willing to learn. We had been dancing Salsa for the last two and a half hours and maybe a change would be as good as a rest. And frankly again it couldn’t be any harder than Tango. Which is hard.
With the now wisdom of hindsight I understand why they named that fizzy orange chemical after Tango. The fizzy orange awfulness is even harder to drink than the complex loveliness of actual tango is to do. Did that sentence make any sense? You know what I mean.
As it turned out Reggeaton was the easiest dance I have learnt in my short and dangerous career as a student of the various methods of having sex to music without actually doing it. Reggaeton was my sort of dancing. It is OBSCENE. And simply a matter of an awful of a lot of hip wiggling and body rolling. I can do that. I can do that in my sleep. Mostly I do it in bed whenever I’m not alone. I can also do it in nightclubs, village halls, pubs, festivals, and alone in my kitchen. No, actually, I mostly do it alone in my kitchen. And stop when the children come in.
As it turned out I have been dancing Reggeaton all my life but just didn’t have a word for it. Now if you are wondering, and I’m sure you are, what the hell I am going on about, it’s like Shakira in that video, this video -
http://www.videocodezone.com/videos/s/shakira/hips_dont_lie.html
Yes, I look just like that. Only my hair is shorter. And I’m in the kitchen. Really.
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