Superman Came to Visit Today – Or How to Make Your Own Man into a Superman

Superman came to visit today. He was smaller than I expected. But he could fly. So I was impressed. The fact that he was only 4 years old did surprise me somewhat.

The story of just how he came to be Superman rather than just an ordinarily bouncy 4 year-old led me to ponder some exciting possibilities. This is what happened:

Superman’s mother (a wise and intelligent woman), before the boy in question was endowed with superpowers, said to him –
‘If you sleep all night in your own bed verily you will become Superman.’
And lo! As such things happen in great works of fairytale and religion IT WORKED! Just by doing what his mother suggested he was endowed with superpowers and became Superman. And the mother was verily grateful and so was the superhero.

Now I’m thinking that could we not use this idea to make all our itinerant men into superheroes? How handy would that be? Not only could these formally more or less mortal men satisfy beyond all flights of the imagination they could probably even solve some of the great mysteries of what doormats are for, what that odd electrical device that pairs up with the folding table-thingy is, and, I know it sounds unlikely, incredible and a daring flight of fancy - fix broken taps!

I’m thinking that if I simply said to my itinerant man ‘If you sleep all night in my bed then you will be Superman.’ Of course, I’m not meaning ‘sleeping’ here in a literal sense. Not like in the case of the rather younger Superman. You know what I mean. Just imagine the outcome. This is what might happen:

Itinerant man makes love to me all night. Fun.
Itinerant man turns into Superman, complete with Superpowers.
Superman makes love to me all night. With his Superpowers. And presumably all that is inherent in having superpowers. Much more than fun.
Superman therefore becomes Supersuperman.
Supersuperman makes love to me all night…you see where this is going.

Why has no one ever thought of this before? Possibly they have but never lived to tell the tale. Personally I am willing to take that risk. Should this blog never have another entry you know that I died happy. And Superman – I love you.