Where Doing Nothing Could Be an Option

‘Doing nothing is not an option’ an oft heard saying in these modern times of doingness. Even one of our greatest sages and sayers of unlikely things, President Bush, has mentioned this. But I, being a woman of a questioning and inquisitive nature, wonder about the veracity of this statement. Surely there must be a case for doing nothing. There must be times in life where taking no action, just lying back and letting things happen, essentially doing fuck all, is the very best option of all.

So, I have looked at a typical day in the life of me, and the many doings I do, and analysed scientifically whether in fact the world would have been a better place if I had done nothing. Here are the results:

Activities that could be replaced with Doing Nothing with NO detrimental effects to the world -

Getting up. Not my favourite activity. Should I have chosen not to do so the consequences would be as follows – I would be happier.

Driving daughter to town. Daughter would have had to take train into town rather than me giving her a lift (reduce global warming). If daughter had known in advance that she wasn’t getting a lift then she would also have probably chosen the not getting up option and therefore also be happier.

Washing up. A lack of this activity would lead to people to have to reuse dirty plates glasses etc with possibly those famous ‘good bacteria’ so enable them to fight off tummy upsets, thrush, and having to drink disgusting yoghurt drinks in order to ingest the aforementioned ‘good bacteria’.

Laundry. Not doing this would mean that eventually family would be driven to such practices as turning their pants inside out, wearing those hugely unfashionable items at the back of their wardrobes (thus giving everyone a laugh) and the accumulated piles of dirty clothes randomly accruing around the house would cushion the impact of bodies hitting floors when people tripped up on the accumulated piles of dirty clothes accruing randomly around the house.

Going to work. Absconding from work would save many a poor person’s manuscript from being read and rejected so a huge amount of writers would not have that particular heartbreaking disappointment.

Writing poems, bits of novels and blog. If I never did this countless folk would be saved vast segments of their lives by not reading my outpourings (and leaving them more time to do nothing).

Going to bed. If I didn’t go to bed I wouldn’t have to get up (tricky space-time continuum question here re not getting up next morning and therefore being able to do nothing).

Activities that could be replaced with Doing Nothing with some detrimental effects to the world -

1. Going to tango class. If I didn’t dance then countless men would not be able to hold me in the ‘close hold’ let alone the ‘balancero’. This would not only disappoint the countless men but countlessly disappoint me.

So 7 to 1 to Doing Nothing. Bush – eat your heart out.